The biggest cake you ever did see.

I read an article in the Guardian on Monday about how asparagus is about to go back out of season, and so naturally, this made me want some. I decided to give this recipe for asparagus with a tomato and feta salsa a shot as we had all the other ingredients in the fridge, and I do love feta cheese--I have deluded myself into thinking that it's healthy, even though I can taste all that salt! I decided to go for a fusion meal and make kofta to go with the asparagus, as they are a real favourite of mine. I'm afraid I haven't been clever enough to save the link to the recipe, essentially, however, it was mix lamb mince with some onion, cumin and mint, squidge round some skewers till kofta shaped, then brush with oil and cook for 15 minutes in a frying or griddle pan.

At the end of Monday, I was very glad I'd made this supper, it made the rest of the coming week feel a lot better. Nice food is always cheering. The asparagus side dish was light and the salsa was tangy and sharp and salty with feta. The kebabs weren't quite spicy enough, and could probably have done with some chilli (I don't think I have ever said that before) but they were tasty enough to keep me happy. I served with pitta bread, but forgot to photograph till I'd handed Sam his plate, so please excuse his thighs.

The faux North African theme continued on Wednesday, when A and H put in a most welcome appearance for the Apprentice (how did Jim get away with it this week, by the way!). I decided to make Olive magazine's harissa chicken and herby couscous. I can't possibly count another way to cook couscous towards my total, but I'm taking the chicken. I'm afraid it's not on the internet, just in the magazine. The recipe said wings, but I used thighs (I think I have mentioned before that I am not convinced that the meat on wings is worth the effort of gauging and scraping required to get it off the bones). Now these aren't marinated,  but grilled for 15 mins (turn halfway through) and then tossed in a coating of orange and lemon juice and zest, cumin seeds, maple syrup and harissa paste (see definitely not authentic!) and then grilled for another 15 minutes. 

I'd have never thought of adding the coating halfway through, but this way the sugar didn't burn and the acid in the fruit didn't destroy the chicken. This was an utter success; H gave it a 10 out of 10 (and then she suggested a rating system for blog dishes, but I don't think that my ego could take it!). The chicken was sticky and tasty and good, and this was a lovely light summer meal.

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So, from North Africa to North America and banoffee pie. Now this is my favourite pudding, but I have never made it before. We had some ripening bananas (overripe because I have decided I no longer like them for a snack) so I thought it was time to have a go at it. To save on calories, I made mini ones, as in the words of Marjorie from little Britain, 'if you cut it in half, it's half the calories, so you can have twice as much'. Anyway, I whizzed up six digestive biscuits in my food mixer till they were fine crumbs and then stirred in a couple of knobs of butter, I pushed this into three ramekins, and then sadly had to throw some out, so if you do this, only use four biscuits. They then went in the fridge for half an hour. I then spread Waitrose caramel sauce over the bottom, Carnation Caramel would do the same thing, and put some sliced banana on top of the caramel, and topped with whipped cream--150ml will be enough. I may sound arrogant, but they were delectable and so easy they are so going into my repertoire. 

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And finally.... A cake so huge it only fits in my oven by a hair's breadth. More than this, it is only one tier of the monster birthday cake I am making for my Grandma and cousin K (K, if you're reading this, your layer will only be marginally smaller and be incredibly chocolately). Grandma wanted fruitcake, I have never made fruitcake, till this afternoon, and I have never made a cake so large, or served anything in tiers. Anyway, I used this recipe and mixed it in the (thoroughly scrubbed, scoured and de-germed) washing up bowl, as the only receptacle large enough to take it. It took two hours to weigh, mix and deposit in my enormous lined tin (how tedious is lining tins? And this one needed a double lining inside and out). Oh and incidentally, if anyone you know requires a celebration cake, I'm hoping to make that my job in the medium future, and will be offering knock down rates for a while...

As it will spend the next few weeks maturing, I'm afraid I can't give a verdict on the taste, all I can say is that it smells like a nice fruitcake, and I am watching it like a hawk to ensure it won't need any carbon scalping off. This cake has been the most satisfying, but most labour intensive thing I've made (I mean that physically too--my arm ached so much, I thought it might fall off). However, love that is totally without condition is rare in life, I think most people can consider themselves lucky if they need to use both hands to count those who love them without requesting anything in return, and Grandma has loved and looked after 13 grandchildren in precisely this way, and I hope I'm making outsize cakes for her for years to come.